Criticism Is Part of Life

Every one of us experiences criticism. It is part of life. Whether the criticism is positive or negative, it can be difficult to receive and even more challenging to give. But learning how is essential for growth.

As Aristotle said, “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

The Story of Barb’s Dream

In most ways, Barb was one of the most confident people in her circle of friends. Yet, when it came to criticism, she felt uncomfortable. No matter how much she prepared for the possibility of negative feedback, she could not seem to get used to it.

Then one day, she decided to be bold. She put her creative work online where the whole world could see it. She created an art project that highlights her talents and showcases all that she dreams of becoming. Although the response was mostly positive, a few people weren't as enthusiastic.

Barb read their comments with apprehension and quickly began chastising herself for not living up to expectations. The small bits of negative feedback she received made her feel like she had failed. She couldn’t help but wonder why people would say hurtful things about her work when they didn't know her story. They had no idea how much time and effort went into creating her art.

She was ready to give up and stop making art entirely when a comment caught her attention. "You have great potential,” said the person who had left a comment. “Keep pushing yourself.” Although this comment wasn't overly positive, it offered Barb hope. She felt that if someone believed in her ability, it must be worth continuing to try.

The next day, Barb got back to work on perfecting her craft. Soon, she was receiving compliments from not only her peers, but industry professionals. They praised the hard work that went into her project. As she continued to dedicate herself to the work, Barb reached a level at which criticism didn’t affect her nearly as much. She learned to take the positive comments as encouragement and use the negative ones to grow. She was on her way to becoming a true artist.

The Power of Positive Criticism

When giving constructive criticism, always focus on what you appreciate and how the other person can improve. We all benefit from recognizing what we are doing well.

This type of feedback helps people realize their potential and keeps them motivated to continue the work. But false compliments are damaging. When delivering positive criticism, remember to remain honest and polite. Be specific. Give examples of the qualities in the person’s work that you think are working well.

The Dangers of Negative Criticism

On the flip side, negative criticism can do real damage—not only to those receiving it, but also to those giving it out.

Before you share feedback, consider the impact it could have on the other person and your relationship. Imagine how you would feel if you received that feedback from someone else. Talk to people as you would like them to talk to you.

When giving criticism, focus on the behaviour rather than the individual. Avoid attacking or putting down the person receiving the criticism no matter how frustrated or angry you may feel.

Be specific and include examples. Explain why something did not work for you and offer ideas for changing the behaviour or work. But most of all, always include positive comments. There is good in everything; be the person who notices it.

Accepting and Processing Criticism

The first step in learning how to accept criticism is to admit to yourself that you are not perfect. No matter how hard you try, there will always be things you could do better. “If you have the guts to keep making mistakes, your wisdom and intelligence leap forward with huge momentum.” – Holly Near (singer and songwriter)

When someone offers you criticism, take a step back and listen objectively before responding. Ask questions and explore the other person’s thoughts. Save your feelings for later when you are alone and can give yourself time to work through whatever feelings may have been aroused.

Then, consider if there is any truth in what they are saying and be open-minded enough to learn from their perspective. This doesn’t mean that you need to act on their advice or even agree with them. It’s the thinking about it that helps you grow. Acknowledging different points of view helps us see things from a variety of angles.

Call to Action

1. How do you handle criticism? What might you do differently to make the most of this opportunity to grow?
2. What will you do to ensure that the criticism you offer to others is as helpful as it can possibly be?

Your Friends,
The UpCloseTeam