Making Agreements with Yourself
One Thing Does Not Change
In these changing times, many of us are reimagining our future.
You might be looking for ways to expand your opportunities. Maybe you want to build new partnerships. Or, maybe you just want to get more out of every minute of your life.
As we experiment and change, and reach out to others who are doing the same, it can be difficult to keep track of all of the promises we make along the way. Especially if we embrace self-improvement or like to help others whenever we can, we may sometimes commit to things we're not quite ready to do.
This is all the more likely in times of transition like we are going through now. But what would happen if we chose our commitments more carefully?
Opportunity Is Not All That's Lost
It's tempting to think that if you don't keep an agreement, you only lose an opportunity. Or, maybe you think the losses are purely financial and you can make more of other opportunities to compensate.
But there is so much more that happens when you do not keep your agreements. You lose something more valuable than money--you lose self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-respect.
As Jack Canfield says, "Every agreement you make is ultimately with yourself."
How Does This Happen?
Perhaps you've decided to limit your screen time. Now-a-days this is a real concern for many of us. You've decided that once the workday is over, you will turn off your cell phone and spend quality time with your family.
When you made this agreement, you could see the benefits and were certain it was something you could stick to. But two days into the commitment, a friend reaches out on social media, and in a quiet moment when family members are out of the room, you pick up your cell phone.
Your family may never find out that you broke your agreement. When they return, your cell phone will be off. What harm is done? Well, the harm is mostly to yourself. You may begin to doubt your ability to see promises through. You might even hesitate before setting new commitments later.
As Brian Tracy said, "The value of a promise is the cost to you of keeping your word."
Why Do We Break Agreements?
It helps to understand the forces that can lead us away from agreements we make with ourselves and others. There are three main reasons for breaking an agreement. They happen to be basic to human nature: comfort, approval, and wanting to be free of rules.
Once you know which of these is playing a role in a given situation, you can begin to shift your behaviour in a new direction. After all, it's possible to get comfort, approval, or freedom in other ways that don't involve breaking our promises.
3 Tips for Staying the Course
What can you do to keep your agreements? Here are 3 simple tips:
- Write down your agreements and share them with everyone involved. This not only makes you accountable; it gives you more time to reflect.
- Tie your agreements into the life you desire. This helps ensure that you put your time and energy into what matters the most to you.
- Take note of the agreements you keep, not only those made to others… but the important ones you make to yourself.
Call to Action:
- List two or three agreements you are working on now.
- Next week, check in to see how you are doing. Did you keep your agreements?
- If you had trouble keeping your agreements, what can you do differently?
Your Friends,
The UpCloseTeam
